


All Your Lights Are Red But I’m Green To Go

by A_Tomb_With_A_View



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Mercer Has Anxiety (Julie and the Phantoms), Asexual Bobby Wilson, But also not, Communication, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, It was supposed to be crack, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Pining, Polyamory, Reggie Peters Has Fibromyalgia (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie has fibromyalgia, and BAM, aroace Nick, asexual willie, bc he doesn’t know, blink and you’ll miss it julie/Kayla, but ot5, except not, he/they willie, idk what this even is, ish, it’s not, not really - Freeform, she/they flynn, that, throw in a dash of my complete lack of perception of myself, yeah idk where that one came from either, you know that we’re dating but you don’t know thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Tomb_With_A_View/pseuds/A_Tomb_With_A_View
Summary: Bobby had always been an acts-of-service kinda guy. He didn’t like verbalising his emotions - it would require processing then first - and physical affection wasn’t always something that appealed to him, and gift giving always felt like a little too much of a gamble.He’d always been doing things for people, especially with how little time their dad sometimes had for him and Carrie, even though he was always trying to make it up to them. He drove Carrie places when she needed it, and made sure there was dinner if Trevor was going to be running late, and told her she was pretty and talented and amazing as and when she needed it. When she needed a hug, he was there, and when she needed space, that suited him just as well.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Carrie & Flynn & Julie & Luke & Nick & Reggie, Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters & Willie, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Carrie Wilson, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Flynn & Julie Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Nick, Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters/Willie, Flynn/Carrie Wilson
Comments: 33
Kudos: 118





	All Your Lights Are Red But I’m Green To Go

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahaha what the fuck is this, you may ask. The answer? Who fuckin knows, not me that’s for sure  
> This was supposed to be a really funny cracky thing about Bobby having no self perception (my personal motto is don’t feel your feelings and this was heavily based off that) and just not connecting the dots, but now we have 6.5k of him being really fucking soft and I’m not even mad.  
> Enjoy!

Bobby had always been an acts-of-service kinda guy. He didn’t like verbalising his emotions - it would require processing then first - and physical affection wasn’t always something that appealed to him, and gift giving always felt like a little too much of a gamble. 

He’d always been doing things for people, especially with how little time their dad sometimes had for him and Carrie, even though he was always trying to make it up to them. He drove Carrie places when she needed it, and made sure there was dinner if Trevor was going to be running late, and told her she was pretty and talented and amazing as and when she needed it. When she needed a hug, he was there, and when she needed space, that suited him just as well. 

When it came to his boys, Bobby had never thought twice about extending that to them. When Alex needed a lift to dance practice, he was on hand, and when Reggie needed someone to remind him that he was a smart little fucker and his dreams of Princeton were totally realistic, Bobby was there, and when Luke needed to just be in the same room as someone while he wrote song after song to and about his parents, Bobby always had a bit of extra homework he could be doing. 

It was the same with the others, really, although they never seemed to need him quite as much as his boys did. Flynn would curl up to his side on the couch when they needed to be held and not interrogated for a while, and Julie would ask him to braid her hair when she needed an excuse to have half an hour almost-by-herself, and Nick… well Nick was probably Bobby’s best friend, outside of the guys, so he was always there making up excuses to spend time together, which was great, because he had a similar view on touching to Bobby, and he wasn’t interested in romance so he didn’t ask Bobby how his love life was was or how his last date had gone - his last date had been two years ago, so it was always awkward when people went there - and they could laugh at the latest romcom Julie had forced them to sit through together, especially when it was one of the more adult ones with sex scenes that made them both want to die. 

Sure he was  _ closer  _ with his boys, but everyone had their little circle, so when the kissing started, he didn’t think too much of it. It wasn’t his cup of tea all of the time, but they were his boys, they weren’t ever disrespectful of pushy about it. Plus it was nice, to have something new to do for them, something new to do with them. It became part of the routine: kissing Reggie hello when he picked him up on the way to their class - at Princeton, because of course Reggie had gotten into Princeton, and Bobby had had to study  _ hard  _ to follow him, but it wasn’t the most taxing thing he’d done for one of them - and then dropping by the coffee shop to grab Alex the biggest cappuccino they’d sell him in his free period, then handing it over in the library where Alex had his study group and kissing his forehead and checking what he wanted for dinner, then finding Luke in whichever music studio was free and making sure to drop a kids on his cheek when he got the house key, because Luke always locked up but Bobby was always first home, and Luke always lit up when Bobby kissed him, and at most other forms of affection, really. 

So it was… unusual, maybe, to kiss his friends, and buy them whatever they needed, and drive them places, and go for nice dinners, but it worked for them, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t done almost all of those things for his other friends. He didn’t really think much about it, which was why he and Alex balanced so well. Where Alex would’ve fretted and focused on it until he was flinching away from Luke and Reggie, Bobby just added it to the List Of Things He Did For His Boys, and kept on with his life. 

——

Willie was new.

Bobby’d seen him around before, but they didn’t share any classes, and since Bobby split his time between Princeton and the College of New Jersey, he didn’t even really know which university they were a student at. 

But, he made Alex smile a lot, which was always a big tick in Bobby’s book, and he made Reggie blush by flirting back just as well as Reggie flirted with all of them, and he was just as good at sitting in a space and being quiet as Bobby, so he was awesome for Luke. 

They got along great with Nick, and the pair could ramble about sports for hours, and Julie thought he was funny, and Flynn and Carrie just stayed on their couch, curled up together, with knowing smiles and encouraged Willie to join the four boys on the couch. 

Bobby thought he was pretty cool, too, even if they hadn’t spent loads of time together, since one or both of them was always wrapped up in doing something for someone else, not that Bobby minded.  _ And,  _ he was definitely easy on the eyes.

“- so would you be interested, then?” Willie’s voice finally cut through the haze of Bobby’s thoughts, dark eyes watching him almost nervously. “In doing that kind of thing. With, Uh. With me?” 

Bobby trawled desperately through his memory of the last five minutes, but came up empty. If Willie looked nervous, then they probably felt strongly about whatever they were asking him about, which meant it was important Bobby do it, because Willie was important to his boys, and Flynn and Carrie and Julie and Nick, which meant they were important to Bobby. “Yeah, man. Sounds good.” He smiled, hoping his confusion wasn’t too obvious. He could totally pretend to have forgotten, later, and then Willie would remind him. 

Willie beamed and nodded, leaning across to kiss Bobby’s temple. “How about… a movie? Next week? I know you’re going to the beach with Reg, Luke and Al on Thursday, but we could maybe do Friday? I wanna start small, one at a time, y’know? I think it would be overwhelming to do something with all of us at once at the minute.” 

Bobby hummed and nodded. He  _ had  _ been feeling kind of drained lately. That always happened every so often - sometimes being around so many people who liked physical contact got to be a little too much for him, and it was nice that Willie seemed to have noticed. The others always did, too, but Willie was new, so it was different, especially since they weren’t taking it personally, just offering to do something one-on-one. “That sounds good,” he agreed, smiling when Willie leaned back, just offering his hand instead of staying pressed against him. “What movie?” 

Willie shrugged, lacing his fingers with Bobby’s when Bobby took his hand. “There’s a romcom on, I think, but that’s doesn’t really sound like your thing, and there’s a sci-fi thing, but that sounds like something you and Reg would wanna see together. There’s an animated action film?” 

“Oh, I think I know the one you mean.” Bobby nodded, using his free hand to google the closest cinema. “Yeah, i do. That sounds awesome. I’ve got a class an hour before, but I can meet you there? I can’t pick you up, sorry.” 

Willie shook their head. “Don’t worry about it, Bobbers. I’ll pick you up. You’ve got organic analysis last, right? In the Frick Chemistry Building?” 

Bobby revelled for a moment in the warm feeling that bubbled up in his chest. Carrie always said your love language was also the language you wanted to be loved in, and he’d never really out much stock in it - it felt awkward when people did things for him, like how useless he’d felt when Alex had started learning to drive, until Alex decided he never wanted to drive again after an icy morning - but having Willie know his schedule and offer to pick him up… it was nice. “Yeah. Um. Yeah, that’s where I’ll be.”

“Awesome.” Willie squeezed his hand lightly. “How was your dinner with Luke last night?” 

Bobby let himself relax into his corner of the couch. “It was really nice. It was weirdly fancy, I didn’t really know Luke was into that kind of thing, but the food was  _ amazing.  _ There was this pianist as well, and she was incredible - like…  _ Julie  _ level amazing - and the whole thing was just… it was fancy, but it didn’t feel too fancy, once we were sat down. It was kind of like we were at Care’s, and Jules was playing, and Ray and dad had one of their cooking nights where they tried to make something posh-like. I liked it, though it’s definitely a thank-god-my-dad-is-a-rockstar type place. No normal college student is affording that.” 

Willie snorted. “Fair enough. Luckily, AMC have a student discount, and I worked there for a couple years, so the guys on the til know me, and might give us free drinks.” 

“Oh, you sure know how to treat a guy.”

——

“So, how are you doing today, Bobbers?” Nick asked, handing him a tumbler of whiskey as he dropped down into the chair next to him with a sigh. 

Bobby shrugged, draining the glass in one go. “I’ve decided the reason I don’t hate myself is that I simply don’t perceive myself,” he replied once the burn in his throat had faded a little. “What about you?” 

Nick snorted and handed him the bottle. “We did calculating the trajectory of objects travelling at exponentially increasing speeds and I considered throwing myself into a volcano fifteen times. Explain about the perception thingy?” 

“So, like…” Bobby thought for a moment, pouring out a couple fingers. “Y’know I don’t have an internal monologue, right?” 

Nick nodded. “Yeah, Julie lost her shit about it, I remember.”

Bobby laughed. “Yeah, exactly. So, it’s kinda like that. I don’t have an opinion of myself, and there’s no one talking to me in my head. Objectively, I can do cool stuff, and I must be okay to have the friends and family I have, but like… do I really exist? Remember that time… what’s her name, Lily? Said she liked me, and I was just confused?”

“Oh, definitely,” Nick said, finishing his drink and making grabby hands for the bottle. “It was so awkward. Luke was convinced you were in a spiral of self hatred.”

“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t,” Bobby explained. “I’ve never been. Even on bad days… I don’t hate myself, I just get convinced my friends hate me. I just don’t remember I exist very often, so I don’t remember that people have opinions of me. My professor told me I’m really useful in practicals when other students are panicking and I honestly blanked because it confused me that she knew I was in her lessons.” 

Nick tipped his head, making a considering face. “So, what, you don’t think you can be loved?” 

Bobby shook his head. “I just don’t remember that people perceive me. I don’t perceive me.”

“This is why Carrie calls you repressed,” Nick informed him, taking a swig from the bottle before pouring himself another glass. 

“No, Carrie calls me repressed because of the time I texted her when I moved into dorms and she got her own place saying I thought I missed her but I wasn’t sure because I’d never done that before,” Bobby reminded him. 

“Oh.” Nick nodded slowly. “That would do it.” 

“Anyway, this girl in my lab was talking about how she hated herself - honestly,  _ way  _ too much information - but then, like, I realised I just. Don’t do that? Not in a  _ I’m mentally well,  _ way, but more in a  _ I have separated my sense of self from my sense of Bobby so severely that what I think of I have no opinion of myself  _ way.”

“What the fuck.” 

“Yeah.” Bobby nodded, sipping on his whiskey. “I’m pretty sure, like, one of the boys could be in love with me, and I wouldn’t notice.”

Nick paused, glass halfway to his mouth. “I- what?”

“I know, right?” Bobby shrugged and tipped his head back. “It’s so weird. Hell, I’m pretty sure I could be in love with them back and I wouldn’t notice.”

“Oh my  _ god,” _ Nick muttered, knocking back his glass, and then snatching Bobby’s. “I genuinely hate you, you repressed moron.” He threw an arm around Bobby’s shoulders and tugged him close, like he always did when he jokingly insulted one of them, an extra reminder that he never meant it. 

“Hate you too, Nick-a-licious.” 

——

“Robbie!” Reggie launched himself at Bobby as soon as Bobby got home. He’d been away for a few days on a residential with his class to go see the SNOLAB in Canada, and he had to admit, he’d… it wasn’t quite missing, he didn’t think, it wasn’t the same ache in his chest he remembered from his first nights away from Carrie, but it was something similar. A kind of longing, maybe, when he woke up to a shitty single hotel bed instead of whichever of his boys had inevitably crawled into his bed, where it be for warmth or cuddles or just because they got lonely. 

“Wriggly!” Bobby caught Reggie carefully, trying his best not to catch his ribs or shoulder blades too hard. “How have you guys been doing without me?” 

Willie appeared at his side, kissing his cheek lightly. “They’ve been terrible. I feel like I’ve been baby-sitting children.”

“We were not that bad,” Luke protested, leaning over Reggie’s shoulder to kiss Bobby. “But, I would suggest not going in the kitchen until we’ve cleaned up.”

“I tried to stop them,” Alex promised, leaning over Reggie’s other shoulder to do the same. “But then Regbert offered me vodka, and I couldn’t not.”

“You’re not old enough to be an alcoholic, Albert” Bobby informed him, settling Reggie down on the sofa. “Did you get to everything on time? Care promised she’d drive you if you needed, since none of you fools can be trusted behind a wheel, but she’s also the worst for conveniently forgetting things.”

“We were fine, babe.” Alex grabbed his bag off him and shoved him towards the sofa gently. “We missed you, but we can tie our own laces without you.”

Bobby paused, his chest twinging oddly, like it had all the time when Luke had been dating Julie, and like it had the first time Carrie had asked if he was okay with Kayla driving her places instead of him. He ignored that Alex had called him babe - Alex called people pet names all the time when he got defensive and sarcastic. “Yeah. No, I - um. I didn’t mean that - you’re not - I’m sorry.”

“Oh, shit, Bobby-baby, no,” Alex backtracked immediately, cradling Bobby’s face. “That came out wrong. I love you, and I’m very grateful for how much you look after us. We’re spoiled, but we made it, even if we missed you a lot.” 

The petname was definitely unusual, but it had been unusual the first time Luke had kissed him, and now it was something Bobby would miss if they stopped. He assumed Alex was just going through a phase. “Oh, yeah. I’m probably just being over sensitive because I’m tired.” 

“Group hugs?” Reggie suggested, bouncing to his feet. Willie caught him before he hit the cupboard, kissing his temple and hugging him with one arm. “I think we should have a sleepover.” 

Sleepovers were something that they’d expected to die down once they got their own place together, but it had become something of a ritual for the four - and then five - of them to make a huge fort of duvets and blankets and pillows in the living room, and would spend the night whispering to each other and cuddling and they always made Bobby feel  _ loved,  _ in away that was far too big for his chest to contain. It was a bit uncomfortable, that much feeling in his chest, but he could never bring himself to mind all too much. “That sounds amazing, Regibald,” he said honestly. “Lemme just grab a shower, and I’ll be back down, okay?” 

“Sounds good.” Luke nodded, making grabby hands at Bobby until he acquiesced and leaned down to kiss him. “Want baileys in your hot chocolate?” 

“Always,” Bobby scoffed. “Some best friend you are, not knowing whether or not I like baileys in my hot chocolate.” 

Luke blinked, expression shuttering for a moment before it smoothed back out. “Yeah, silly me. Go on, Bobbers, you stink.” 

Bobby considered pressing for a moment, but Luke wouldn’t talk until he was ready, and Bobby would only push him away if he asked. “M’kay, Lucy. I love you.” 

Luke smiled up at him, tugging him down by his t-shirt to kiss him again. “I love you too.” 

——

“So, Bobby, any new relationship news?” Julie asked, throwing her legs over his lap. 

Bobby rolled his eyes, handing her a toffee before she even asked for one. “I’m not interested in that kind of thing at the minute, Jules. You know that. I’ve got you guys, and my boys. I don’t have time for anyone else.”

Julie sighed, exchanging a glance with Flynn that Bobby couldn’t read. 

Flynn cleared her throat, holding their hand out for a toffee, smiling when Bobby handed them one obediently. “Why do you always refer to us and them separately?” 

Bobby blinked. “Because they are? Y’know… you’re my kids. They’re my boys.”

“Woah, since when are we your  _ kids?”  _ Julie protested, raising both eyebrows.

“Uh, since I started coming over every Sunday and cook a few meals so you definitely have enough to eat during the week because Care is a disaster in the kitchen, and you have weird hours, and Flynn forgets to get meal food when she buys snack food?” Bobby suggested, looking between them. “Or since you started calling me to help you with paperwork and taxes?” 

Julie deflated, eyes wide. “Oh my god. You’re our dad.”

Bobby nodded, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay. Dad and Ray are all the way back home in LA, and I’m here. I like it. I like being able to help. But it’s different with the guys.”

Flynn scoffed. “They need you more than we do.”

Bobby ignored how much that sounded like  _ we don’t need you,  _ and shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just different. You’re my kids, Nick’s my best friend, and they’re… my boys. And Willie, obviously. My guys? My people? I don’t know. It’s just different.” 

“Have you considered that it might be romantic?” Flynn asked gently, taking his hand. “That maybe that’s why it’s different?” 

“I’m not- it’s not.” Bobby laughed awkwardly. “That’s…” he paused, waiting for the usual weird feeling in his chest that happened when people asked him about relationships. There was just a subtle hum of  _ right  _ under his heart. “I can’t be in love with four people.”

“And you can’t have kids when you’re only a year older than them,” Julie reminded him. “You love who you love, and you love them how you love them. You’ve never been able to define how you feel about them, but you’ve also never considered that you could just be in love with them.”

Bobby waited for the world to crash down around him, or for someone to yell psych, or for his chest to collapse.

Nothing happened. Something in the back of his mind lit up and labelled the box full of his happiest memories and warmest feelings of Reggie and Luke and Alex and Willie  _ love.  _

“Okay.” He breathed out shakily. “I’m in love with four people. Where the fuck do I go from there?” 

Flynn shrugged. “Carrie texted me that she loved me when she was drunk and I badgered her until she admitted it again when she was sober.” 

Julie snorted. “How the fuck would I know? I’ve been on three dates in the last six months and none of them liked music.”

Bobby ‘tsch’ed and brushed a curl off her forehead. “What about the pretty barista? Kayla, was it?” 

“I’m not asking Ka- the barista out,” Julie insisted. “What if it goes horribly and then I have to go to a new coffee shop? Bobbers, the closest coffee shop is twenty minutes in the wrong direction to my classes.”

Bobby hugged her close, holding his free arm out to Flynn. He could focus on the new word he had for his feelings for the boys and Willie, on how he didn’t know how he’d fit into it without much more to offer them than he already had, on how he’d always been wary about relationships after his first girlfriend had asked if he’d mind if she dyed other people once he’d come out to her as ace, about how if this went well it could quite possibly be the best thing to ever happen to him, and if it went wrong it would ruin his life, but Julie was telling him about how Kayla had remembered her coffee order  _ and  _ her name last week, and Flynn had her head on his chest, and he’d much rather be present and with them, instead. 

He’d always been good at putting his feelings away until the time and place arrived for him to look at them again. 

“-and then this  _ asshole  _ of a customer just, just fucking yelled at her!” Julie was saying, arms waving as her voice picked up. 

Bobby winced. “What a dick.”

“Right! So, obviously I wasn’t gonna let that stand-”

“That’s my girl.”

“- so I m. Well, I didn’t punch him, because that would cause Kay more trouble, but I  _ did _ yell at him.”

——

“-so then I realised I might possibly be in love with my four best friends,” Bobby finished, downing the gin Nick slid across the table to him. “How did I not notice that? How do I tell them? Do I tell them at all?” 

“Bo-bear, hon,” Nick said gently, patting Bobby’s cheek. “I don’t have a fucking clue.”

Bobby sagged against the counter. “Yeah, I know.”

“Besides,” Nick continued, “and I’m gonna blow your tiny, repressed ratbastard mind here, they’re in love with you - and each other - too.”

Bobby blinked. “I’m. What?” 

“You’ve been dating them for almost a year, dude.” Nick ruffled his hair. “Including Willie. You went to see Spies In Disguise. They kissed you goodnight. Could not have been more obviously a date. Regbob took you to the fair for your guys’ first date and won you a huge teddy bear, and you cried, and now you take it whenever you travel because you’re used to having one of them at least to hug.” 

Bobby sat down heavily, grabbing the bag of maltesers and shoving five into his mouth. “Oh my god.”

“First date with Ale? You tried to go see the Cinematic Orchestra with him, but you wore a suit, and he tripped and fell down the stairs, so you spent the night in A&E. For your redo, you went to the beach and Al attempted to teach you to surf, remember?” 

Bobby nodded slowly. “Yeah, ‘course. But. I mean. They weren’t…”

“You and Luke went to a cheese and wine event on your twenty first birthday,” Nick finished, pouring him out another glass.

Bobby drained it instantly and followed it up with another handful of malteasers. “ _ Fuck.”  _

Nick patted his shoulder sympathetically. “It’s okay, Bobbley. I’ve been trying to tell you this for a year. We’ve  _ all  _ been trying to tell you this for a year.”

Bobby groaned and slid down to rest his head on his forearms. “How did I not notice this?” 

“Like you said, Bobs. You don’t perceive yourself, or think of how others perceive you. You probably would’ve noticed if it were just one, but because you’re all dating each other, you just saw that they still were treating you the same as they treat each other, and assumed it was a new friendship thing,” Nick explained, tone gentle. 

“Good  _ god.”  _

Nick snorted. “I’ll tell them to come over.”

“Do they know I don’t know?” Bobby asked miserably. He honestly didn’t know what was worse. The boys and Willie thinking he’d been on the same page as them while he’d been so  _ stupid,  _ and god that was probably why Luke had looked so hurt when he’d said best friend - he’d thought Bobby thought they were  _ boyfriends  _ \- or them knowing and not telling him. 

He was overbearing, sometimes.

Maybe they thought he was enough as he was now, not knowing, and that if he figured it out he’d be even worse, never letting them do anything by themselves. 

Nick flicked his forehead. “No, they don’t hate you, or think you’re too much, dickhead. Luckily, you’re a repressed enough weirdo that they just think you’re not as verbal about the romance as them.” 

“Oh, so we’re all stupid?” Bobby asked, looking up at Nick helplessly. 

Nick snorted. “Pretty much, yeah. They’re almost here, so I’m leaving.”

“Will you wait in the car for me?” He toyed with his sleeve nervously. “Just in case it goes wrong?” 

Nick softened. “Yeah, course. I’ll call Jules and Flynn, we’ll make a night of it.” 

“Thanks, Nicky.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

——

“Bobbit?” Luke was first into the house, as he always tended to be. He was too much energy for one body to contain - too much love, too, Bobby had always thought - and it showed itself in bursts of speed and strength that the rest of them could rarely match. “Nick said there was a problem, are you okay?” 

Bobby was on his feet before he knew it, arms around Luke and nose buried in the crook of his neck. If they hated him after this - and if anyone was going to hate him, it would be Luke - he wanted to have had this, last. “Heya, Lukey.”

Reggie was next, hand in hand with Alex. It made sense, really, that they were together, but Bobby thought it might be the most plausible to miss. Alex and Reggie had always been two sides of the same coin. There was nothing Alex couldn’t do that Reggie couldn’t, and nothing Reggie would do that Alex wouldn’t. They’d do anything together, and complimented each other perfectly. Bobby remembered his dad joking that they were a concerning shade of codependent, but Bobby had just always wanted to be a part of it. 

“Boberto,” Alex said gently, prying Bobby away from Luke and cradling Bobby’s jaw. Bobby realised that even if he’d lost it now, he  _ had  _ been a part of it. Too stupid to notice, sure, but they weren’t the sort to give energy to things they didn’t want wholeheartedly. If they’d been with him, they’d loved him every inch they loved each other. Alex scanned his face for some kind of sign, kissing both of his cheeks and then his mouth gently. “What’s wrong?” 

Reggie didn’t wait for Alex to move, just plastered himself against Bobby’s back, pressing a light kiss under his jaw. He was always sturdier than Bobby expected him to be, lines of muscle from lugging his bass and amp around, and from the hours he spent learning to box to impress - well… Bobby had thought it had been about some girl, at the time, but Bobby had been boxing since he was a kid, so… it had probably been him - and Bobby was melting into him without even a hope of resistance. “Love you, Bobaby.” 

Willie was last, waiting for Alex and Reggie to let him go. They didn’t try to surround Bobby, either. Bobby and Willie had always been different. Neither of them had anything against kissing - it was fun, and their boys liked it, so it was always worth it with them - but between the two of them? It was always something else. Forehead kisses, knuckles kisses, shoulder kisses, all on the cards, but it was the casual  _ closeness _ that Bobby favoured. The way Willie was always touching him somehow but never pressing too close. Willie squeezed his shoulder gently. “We’re worried about you, love. What’s going on?” 

“I didn’t know we were together,” he admitted immediately. He’d planned on saying something - anything - else, first, to reassure them that he did love them, that it wasn’t that he thought it inconceivable, just that didn’t even think of it as something that would be an option to him. He’d rehearsed it too many times in his head since Nick had left, though, and there was no space for anything else. 

He could’ve won money on how well he’d gauged their reactions. 

Luke’s jaw set and his eyes shuttered, his immediate reaction to pain never changed. Bobby had always expected to be the cause of It one day, he was too caustic and brash even when he was trying his best to take care of people not to be, but he’d never expected to feel the ache of it so deeply in his chest. He’d never been one for feeling his emotions very strongly. His head supplied him with the word he  _ should  _ probably be feeling, but it was rare it made it to an actual feeling. He wondered if this was how normal people felt all the time. He wondered if he was feeling to full capacity, or if he was still protecting himself. He didn’t deserve not to feel the full breadth of it. 

Reggie’s face crumbled momentarily, but then he breathed out shakily, hand on his ribs and the other reaching immediately for Alex. Bobby patted around behind him for the hot water bottle he’d gotten ready, handing it over as soon as he’d found it.

Alex didn’t react at all. He’d react later, Bobby knew, cry and yell and whale on his drums, but for now there was just an emptiness. It scared Bobby, but he was glad Alex wasn’t too hurt, yet.

Willie just looked confused. “I asked you on a date, properly,” he said, the end tilted up like a question. “I’m. How did this happen?”

Bobby laughed awkwardly, scrubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t. I didn’t. I didn’t hear you say it? I just… you looked nervous,” he remembered. “About what you were asking - if I’m remembering the right time, Nick told me this was our first date, so. Anyways, you looked nervous, so I figured it was important, so I agreed to it. I don’t. I didn’t want to disappoint you about it.” 

“What about us?” Alex asked quietly, eyes trained on a spot on the counter. “I mean. Bobby, we’ve been living together for two years. We took you on individual dates, group dates, I've introduced you to people as my boyfriend in front of you.”

Bobby shrugged awkwardly. “Nick says it’s because I just compare things to how you guys treat each other. I don’t. I don’t feel things all the time - remember how we talked about how you feel too much and I feel too little and between us we get a normal reaction? So, if I don’t know what’s going on, he says I compare. And you guys, you started kissing me, and calling me pet names, but you did it to each other as well, so I just.. I thought that was something we did. And, and, Julie’s like our kid sister, so obviously we wouldn’t be kissing her, and Carrie is my actual sister, and Flynn is her girlfriend, and Nick doesn’t like people being near his face. And then Willie became friends with us, and they joined in, too, it just… seemed like our thing.” 

“And that didn’t strike you as… I don’t know, weird?” Luke asked, tapping a beat out on his thigh. “At all?” 

“Lukey, I’ve been looking after you guys the same way I look after my sister for years, but with added… something. Is it really weirder to kiss you good morning than it is to make sure you’ve got your meds and set your alarm for the next morning?” He laughed wetly and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I liked it, as well, alright? I just. Didn’t analyse my feelings enough to figure out why.”

“And have you?” Reggie asked, finally, voice reedy and wobbling. He was pressing his hot water bottle against his ribs in a way that Bobby  _ knew  _ was too hard. “Analysed your feelings, or whatever. Is this. Are you breaking up with us? Is there an us to break up?” 

“That depends on you guys,” Bobby said after a moment, moving forward when the insistence to stop Reggie hurting himself became too strong. He eased Reggie’s hand off the bottle and held it in place himself. “I’m. I. Uh…” he sucked in a breath. “I love you guys. Romantically. I’m in love with you. If… if it’s not too late, and if you’re. If you’re okay with having the conversations that need to be had - and having them with  _ me,  _ even though I’m a pain to have emotional conversations with - then… then I want to do this. Properly. Knowing we’re doing this.” 

Willie spoke first, “I’m down. I’ve known you’re a repressed weirdo since day one. It doesn’t change anything for me. We’re hardly gonna start making out. It’s just gonna be the same, except we’re on the same page.”

Reggie nodded slowly. “Me too. If. If everyone else is down. I think. I don’t wanna cause an argument.”

Alex softened at that immediately, and Bobby wondered if he’d have to spent forever making it up to him that he’d hurt Reggie, or if he was just thinking too little of Alex. “I’m. I’m upset, I guess, but it’s a miscommunication issue, not a malicious issue. As far as I see it, you love us, and we love you. Just because we’ve viewed the last year differently doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” Definitely thinking too little of Alex, then.

It took another minute or two before Luke cracked. “We’re having serious conversations about this,” he insisted. “Proper ones, where you have to be emotionally available, and tell us how you feel, and where we set boundaries.”

Bobby nodded his agreement instantly, letting Reggie rest his chin on his shoulder. “Be careful, buttercup,” he whispered. “Don’t hurt yourself just for cuddles.”

Reggie rolled his eyes, but turned his head to kiss Bobby’s neck. “I won’t, I promise.” 

Bobby smiled and turned back to Luke. “You’re right. Total communication.”

Luke chewed his lip and nodded slowly. “We’re. I don’t think we should go from the beginning, but I want a redo of our first date. That was. That was really big for me.”

“I’d love to,” Bobby agreed instantly, trying to figure out a way to ease the bubble of… something swelling up in his chest. “I’d really, really love to, Lukey.” 

Luke was across the room in an instant, Alex carefully pulling Reggie out of the way so Luke could pull Bobby into a kiss. 

It wasn’t any of the things Bobby had hated about kissing boyfriends and girlfriends in the past, but it was definitely different to the domesticity of the normal way Luke kissed him. Bobby felt himself melt into it, but before he could get too used to it, Luke was gone and Reggie was inches away. “My turn?” 

“Only if you go lay down after this,” Bobby bargained. “You’re awful at looking after yourself.”

“I don’t need to be good at it,” Reggie dismissed, leaning forward to kiss him. When he pulled away, he grinned breathlessly. “I’ve got you to do it for me.”

“Asshole,” Bobby muttered fondly. “You’re such a dick.”

“Hey, where’s my kiss?” Alex complained, waiting for Reggie to obediently drag Luke to the couch and lay down before reeling Bobby in. 

Bobby stumbled - Alex was always stronger than he expected - and barely caught himself before falling into Alex’s chest. “Hey.”

Alex flashed him a pleased smile. “Heya, Beebob.”

“I’m really sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t. I didn’t know.”

“I know. It’s okay,” Alex reassured him, kissing him gently. It was no different to normal, Alex taller than Bobby was used to, and all gentle, brushing hands and chapped lips, but he tasted like forgiveness.

Willie didn’t tease him, or ask him for anything, just opened his arms, which was why he was Bobby’s favourite. They just held him, not making any move to push him away or shift position, just wrapped their arms around him tightly, the weight against his back crushing and freeing and so heartbreakingly comforting that it ached in Bobby’s throat. “I love you.”

There was lips against his temple, momentarily. “I love you, too.”

——

“Who told you?” Carrie demanded, as soon as Bobby picked up the phone.

“I- what?”

There was a pause, like Carrie was rolling her eyes. “Who told you about your little relationship thingy?” 

Bobby snorted, adjusting Alex on top of him so his hair was no longer getting in his mouth. “Nick, duh.”

Carrie groaned. “I’m gonna fucking kill him, I had money riding on this.”

“You were betting on this?” Bobby asked, putting her on speaker so his boys could hear. “Seriously?”

“Obviously. We’ve been trying to get you to realise for a whole year, and you just weren’t self-aware enough to even notice  _ you  _ loved  _ them,  _ nevermind the possibility of reciprocation. Of course I was betting on it. I owe Julie  _ three hundred bucks,  _ now, and it’s all Nickster’s fault,” she complained. 

Bobby shrugged, reaching out to lace the fingers of his free hand with Willie’s. “Maybe don’t bet three hundred bucks on my relationships in the future? Or maybe even just tell me?” 

She scoffed. “Bobbit, I’m three thousand miles away. If your boyfriends and best friends can’t get through to you, I have no chance.”

Bobby tipped his head in acknowledgement. “That’s fair.”

“So… you’re happy?” She asked awkwardly, after a pause. 

“Yeah,” Bobby breathed, tilting his head up to accept a kiss from Luke as he placed a cup of coffee on Bobby’s nightstand, doing his best not to jostle Alex as he shifted a little. Reggie groaned from the desk, scribbling out a whole box of working. Bobby would probably wince when he looked over it later - from the disgusting number of symbols and the strings of formulae, not because of Reggie’s mistakes, he didn’t understand nearly enough of what Reggie did for that - but for now he just shot him an encouraging smile. “So fuckin’ happy, Care.” 

“Well, that’s all that matters, then.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated if you enjoyed :))


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